Planning a wedding is not beans* especially when you are planning it yourself and you still have other things like your jobs and ministries to run.
But hey, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, let’s start with a major life update, as this blog title already suggests.
Yaayyyy, your fave girl is MARRIIEEDDDD!!! (Inserts dancing emoji).
Awwwnnn, thank you for your kind wishes, you are so sweeetttt.☺️☺️☺️
Getting married is something I had desired, prayed for, and prepared for, and I’m so glad it happened in God’s own time.
I’m grateful, blessed, and happy to be married to an amazing, kind, and smart man.
However, there are several things we didn’t ‘knew’ or fully expect pre, during, and post-wedding, and I’m here to share them with you so that you can note of them as you prepare or plan for your big day. And if you are married, you can get some popcorn to share with your partner as you read and reminisce on your wedding memories.
I’m hoping to share them with you just as it is in my heart. Shall we dig in?
First ehn, they never told us that:
1. Getting a PA or VA may not necessarily solve all your time management problems. Now, this is not necessarily a marriage-specific issue, but as I was planning for my marriage, I hired a Virtual Assistant to help me coordinate the many other tasks that I usually handle. But fam, no one ever said that to hire a VA, you also need time and the ability to fully document what you need them to do. #sigh. I eventually had to take a pause with that, cos it wasn’t as effective for me as I thought it would be.
2. Planning for a wedding and getting a new home at the same time (paying rent, furnishing the home, and all the other works) is highly money intensive, especially when you are funding them yourself. Our budget literally doubled (almost), but God came through for us sha. So, plan accordingly using this info.
3. A low-key wedding without a strictly-by-invite rule can never be a fully low-key wedding. We planned for a small wedding with a family-only traditional wedding and an open church wedding, but my-oh-my, we definitely got more than we expected both at the trad, church, and private friends’ hangout. So, if you really want a fixed amount of people at your wedding, issue invite cards to your guests that would be used to admit them at the event, of course, you’ll need bouncers for the remaining people or you can have a canopy outside for them sha with a projector so that they don’t miss out (pick your struggle).
4. A weekday wedding may not streamline your wedding audience. As God would have it, our wedding took place on a Friday, and we thought it would streamline our audience as many people would go to work. But nah, our Faith Church tribe wouldn’t have it; they turned up fully, and it turned out to be a fun and happy wedding.
5. You cannot predict your wedding audience. Similar to the previous point, but on a more elaborate note. Even with the short notice of less than a month that we informed some of our folks, colleagues, and families about our wedding, the turnout was massive.
We couldn’t even greet or see everyone who came because of the number of people who showed up including those we didn’t think could make it. We are grateful though, cos it showed how much loved and respected we were to our people.
Suggested Read: A Lover’s Call
6. One-day weddings are rushed and stressful, you may not fully experience the day. You may not have pictures with your loved ones. I knew that a one-day wedding would be rushed, but it did not prepare me for the reality of this.
We had our traditional wedding and church wedding on the same day and even after rushing the Alagas** during the trad ceremony and the crazy drive back to the hotel to change into our white outfits, and then back to church, we still got to the church slightly late. When it was time for pictures, we couldn’t even take pictures with everyone who came for our wedding, not even with my family members.
7. Reception is not a must. This is one ‘freeing’ thought you need to embrace, especially if you are planning to host a reception just because it is expected. And if you must hold a reception, I recommend you infuse you and your partner’s personality and vibe into it, so that it is personalized and more memorable for you.
8. Your life will change. Some weeks after my wedding, I began to feel like I haven’t fully been my goal-smashing self, and it affected my thoughts; I’m getting over this now sha, lirrru by lirru. Another thing that changed partially is my sleeping/waking habit, I guess this happens when you marry someone with a different sleeping/waking pattern (we are navigating our way thru this).
Then I haven’t been journaling as much and this is the one that has gotten to me a lot, but what has surprised me the most (maybe) is the fact that I’ve fallen in love with cooking and going the extra mile in preparing healthy and yummy meals for my husband and I (yes o, the fullness of my ‘foodie-ho0d’ is finding expression in my kitchen, Glory to Jesus!!!).
In summary, marriage will bring about changes in you and your spouse, how you prepare for and react to these is what matters.
9. You will not always cuddle in bed. So, I have had this idea that my husband and I will cuddle in bed as we sleep, you know, all those romantic things you watch in movies.
My dear friends, I am here to inform you that it hasn’t been so. Not that we don’t cuddle o, but from cuddling before sleep or sleeping at different times, you may end up on different ends of the bed in the morning. But what I do enjoy, is our morning cuddles when we wake up????.
10. I’ll love sleeping on a bed so much. This one is an inside joke for my sister, husband, and Doki. Before my wedding, I used to be a couch person. I loved my couch so much; it turned into my bed for months (or years sef), and in the months leading to my wedding, my sister and then fiance would threaten me that I mustn’t sleep on the couch again.
I promised to continue sleeping on the couch even after our wedding and indoctrinate my husband into it; well, I did indoctrinate him (clap for me please) but now, I enjoy sleeping on the bed a lot, probably more than my husband sef. My brethren, what God cannot do? And the church says – does not exist????. Hallelujah!!!
I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed putting it together.
Marriage is definitely sweet and I’m so happy to be married to an amazing man.
In a sequel post, I share with you the lessons we learned as we prepared for our wedding and marriage. You should read it also and share it with your friends who are married or planning their wedding.
Are you married? What were the things you experienced but were not expecting? Please share with me in the comment section, I’ll be looking out for it.
Till I come your way again, keep living and loving.
Love and Light,
not beans*- means not a walk in the park or not easy.
Alaga** – people (especially women) who moderate/coordinate Yoruba traditional weddings.
This is so apt. If there is anything I am grateful for, it is a no reception decision. Reception is overrated IMO????????????
Then this love for cooking ehn. I definitely wont say I love cooking yet but I definitely love cooking for my Husband ❤️
Ayyyyeee???????????? Coming from my latest Iyawo, I’m so happy to read this.
Truly, I’d rather have an initiate session with friends that a big reception with many people that I don’t know.
Yasss to cooking for our loved ones, may the ginger never drop????
I enjoyed reading this particular post that it made me giggle and smile and blush and all that good stuff ????????
Congratulations once again mama. Your home remains blessed.❤️
Amen, thank you darling. I’m glad you read thru and it blessed you????
The trad should be in-house something, making it loud is a kind of waste of time and resources. Why not channel that money in getting befitting apartments and furnishing it.
The reception thing is overrated. I have been advocating for low-key reception if at all, they’ll be any, just the couple, families, and few friends. Simple
Thank you for your contribution, Arinze.
I love your writing style
I didn’t want the article to end
Awwnn, thank you, Temitope.
Yes! Reception is not a must (yaay!! Who slap me?) lol
My daddy that went to throw a whole party for uni graduation
Very useful lessons. Thanks for sharing, Esther
Thank you dear Blessing. Sometimes, we have to just lean in and let our parents be parents.
Since I belong to the takingnotes.com fam, I would save this post for later. This was a beautiful read, I love the flow of words and the structure of the post. Welldone sis and Happy married life again????
Thank you for reading, my dearest Precious…hehehe, my takingnotes.com fam
You see No 2, they didn’t prepare me well for it. Searching was so tasking, stressful and exhausting. Then, the money for rent and furnishing… It is well. God came on time and we eventually looked back with gratitude.
Then, No 3, I was surprised how people stormed the venue with the short public notice. It was later I knew the news had gone viral even before my supposed announcement. Lol.
For No 6, I had a one-day wedding too and yeah, so stressful and the rush eh. However, I love it. Everything was swift and in few hours, I was in the arms of my dream man. ???? Our photographer helped us get great pictures with families and friends but we hardly had many couple pictures.????
No 8. Our lives have changed and still changing… I got married to discover my husband loves cold food while I love it hot. Well, now we eat lukewarm foods. ???????? Then, I so much love cooking for us that except I’m very tired, I don’t leave the kitchen. I absolutely love how he smiles while eating and how he say ‘Thank you’ when he is done.
For No 9, say no more. So true. Cannot be better put. Nollywood do that one. ????????
I will love to add that being married to an amazing being cannot be overemphasised. It actually made all of these realities easy to manage.
I had a good read. Totally relatable. Thanks for sharing.
wowwww, Maryyy, it’s amazing to know that these experiences are relatable. Yes o, being mnarried to an amazing spouse is a blessing. Thank you for reading, God bless you.
Well, well, laugh wan finish me as I read this blog. So interesting and instructive for those coming ahead or planning their wedding. I had always known that weekdays does not determine the audience you would have on your big day. People will always turn up for the people they love. Also, I am learning from your post that same-day wedding could be stressful. Every point is a take home for me. Thanks for sharing.
Awwnnn, thanks for reading Ireyemi. Twas joyful reading your comment.
J’ai pris du plaisir à lire ce blog. Vraiment que Dieu vous bénisse pour ces révélations ????❤️.
Vous, savez, chez moi au pays, c’est assez difficile de trouver les blogs qui parlent de la préparation, du déroulement du mariage et autres. Les aînés qui sont mariés ne veulent rien révéler et quand je trouve ce genre de blog comme celui c’est en anglais ????Dieu merci que j’ai l’option “french” pour la traduction. J’ai retenu pleins de choses mais ce qui m’a capturé n°7, la réception n’est pas une obligation. Merci ????
Wow! Beautiful article. I enjoyed reading this and I’m learning a great deal.
Glad to know it blessed you, Grace. Thank you for reading.
This is a good read. I didn’t want it to end lol
Awwnn, thank you for reading through.
Wow….I must say a very big thanks for the adorable time spent to write and share this rich content….It was a timely one for me.. once, again I wish you a blissful marriage of radiant suprises from the Divine God the very best matchmaker.????????????????♂️
Thank you so much for reading through, and for your kind words. Indeed, he is the perfect matchmaker.
You see that no 2. I’m currently planning for a wedding, but no one told me about the 2 o,????
If we had known, we would have planned earlier
Thank you so much Ma for this post.
Please, how can I reach out to you personally?
I have some questions
Hey Seun, thank you for reading, you can send me a dm on Instagram – @esthitude_ i’ll be glad to answer.
Another beautiful read
Thank you so much for the post
Thank you for reading and engaging, Blessing.