21 Important Tips To Make Your Marriage Grow and Last

Hi folks, how are y’all doing? No, I’ve not become a marriage counselor overnight ?, but when I come across articles or messages that will be beneficial to you, it will be wrong if I keep such information to myself right?

So, today I just want to share with you lessons I learned from Church. Some characteristics of a great sermon for me, are when the sermon is real, practical and based on the Word.

We see in our community many marriages ending up in divorce just after few months or years but this is not the plan of God for marriages. The sermon today was titled “Growing Your Marriage “, and the pastor took his time to explain and pray for us. I believe this post is for those who are married and those who plan to get married later in life.

Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun. Ecclesiastes 9:9 KJV


The pastor explained that the purpose of marriage is to bring honor to God, the couple and to humanity in general. He explained that for marriage to survive, you need to grow in it, and when you grow in your life / marriage:
-you’ll be strong in the Spirit
-you’ll be filled with wisdom
-the grace of God will be upon your life and marriage

He then went to list necessary ingredients for marital success which are:
1. Deep knowledge of God: You need a deep knowledge of God’cos when God is the center of your home, He’ll sustain your home.
2. Learn to hear God’s voice by having constant fellowship with Him
3. Play with each other like children
4. Occasionally shower together, bath for each other (no matter how old you may be). It brings spice back into you marriage
5. Defend each other. Fight for one another
6. Pray and fast together
7. Train your children together
8. Buy a surprise gift for each other
9. Study each other very well. Do it continually
10. Learn to engage in discussions not arguments
11. Don’t keep secrets from each other
12. Keep your marriage from third party
13. Help each other in the house (house chores and all)
14. Know when to touch each other sexually
15. Never go to bed angry with each other (you don’t know when the trumpet will sound)
16. Always appear neat and smell good before your husband (Stop tying scarfs all the time, it makes your hair smell. A good perfume too will be nice)
17. Invest into your spouse. Give your spouse every support
18. Be a role model to your children
19. As a man, NEVER raise your hands to beat your wife
20. Be broken; be submissive
21. Fight anti-marriage forces together

With each of these principles he was giving, he was also explaining, giving examples and praying for the congregation. I had a great time and was glad that I was able to make it to the service.

How was service at your end? Did you learn anything new? How are you going to apply it to your life? Share with me in the comment section below.

Cheers to a beautiful week ahead.

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  • AmakaPaul

    Hi ma’am… Lovely one.. I love the never go to bed angry and occasionally shower together part?
    Yes! Church was great… We studied having the love of God and abhoring the world and it’s things… Anyways what struck me was a reminder by the teacher that God is our father. Reminding yourself of how great God is constantly and how that you are the child of this great God would help guide your choices to live for him daily…?

    • Esthitude

      I love those parts too.. That’s true, we need to constantly remind and affirm to ourselves who we are in God. May God grace be continually sufficient for us.
      Have a great week ahead dear

  • Whyzman

    Okay, I think I can say thank you for directing me to this place to finish this article. It’s a timely message. Sometimes I wonder why marriages should fail after all the initial “lovingitis” ; Why should a husband and a wife hate each other to an extent they prefer to divorce? God will save our marriages in Jesus name.

    • Esthitude

      Thank you for coming to read the full post, I’m glad it blessed you. Like I said, we need to be more intentional about making our marriages successful. The lovey-dovey feelings are not going to be enough…there’s a need for conscious effort towards growing love and friendship in the marriage.

  • Awotobi Grace

    thanks dearie,love your post. service was great. a major lesson I learnt is that every born again Christian is called into God’s work to serve Him in different capacities, and that you don’t need a tittle to work for God. do have a lovely week.

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